Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize