Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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