Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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