guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize