There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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