It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
