Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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