He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize