i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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