i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize