i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There r osticjed everywhere
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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