They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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