Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
