I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This house was built for laser tag.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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