why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
