She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
