Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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