we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
