would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
