You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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