Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
