There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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