K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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