Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
