so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
