There was a lot of him and a little penis
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dick very happy bro
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