Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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