8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
