He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
