Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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