im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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