Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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