i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
