he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
