There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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