Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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