i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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