you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
