Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
