What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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