Welp...herpes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
