even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
