This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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