If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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