I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
