Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
