mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
