Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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