real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
