its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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