so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
