I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
