in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
