No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This toilet bowl is my home.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
