Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm at about main and main street
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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