it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
