forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize