worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
