and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
