Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
