Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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